Awkward Bulldog Photos

Both of my bulldogs are to the point that they avert their eyes when I bring out my iPhone. Their perky ears suddenly hang low and their cute faces droop with disappointment: “Mom’s been drinking again.” They hate it when I want to take their picture. It’s because they know I’m making fun of them in ways they can’t understand.

I’ve been chasing around my two clowns for the last 5-ish years and have snapped several thousand pictures of them both, most of them are for my own amusement. When I can’t sleep at night I take out my phone and flip through all of the stupid dog pictures and cackle to myself.

But… I’ve captured some gems over the years and I would like to share the best with you. Like Awkward Family Photos, these pictures are awkward, squirmingly embarrassing  and borderline incestual.

Peterbilt has fallen asleep in some pretty ridiculous places before, but this one takes the cake. This was when Peterbilt was still a puppy and was naive to the fact that Mack's asshole is the closest we will ever get to knowing what hell smells like.

Peterbilt has fallen asleep in some pretty ridiculous places before, but this one takes the cake. This was when Peterbilt was still a puppy and was naive to the fact that Mack’s asshole is the closest we will ever get to knowing what hell smells like.

Here's another beauty.  170 lbs of dog on one bed results in some bad touching

Here’s another beauty. 170 lbs of dog on one bed results in some “bad touching”

Mack suspects these photos are being used in ways that will soon ruin his street cred.

Mack suspects these photos are being used in ways that will soon ruin his street cred.

The Runner Up. Mack was laying on the ground when Peterbilt literally craweled under his head, went tits up and fell asleep. Mack feels like a creep.

The Runner Up. Mack was laying on the ground when Peterbilt literally crawled under his head, went tits up and fell asleep. Mack feels like a creep.

Gotta let The Junk get some air.

Gotta let The Junk get some air.

Title: "HALP!!" Mack has an aversion to physical affection.

Title: “HALP!!”
Mack has an aversion to physical affection.

Whoops! How did that get in there?!?

Whoops! How did that get in there?!?

Buddy gives Peterbilt a good old fashioned penis inspection. Peterbilt does not object.

Buddy gives Peterbilt a good old fashioned penis inspection. Peterbilt does not object.

Oh, how we love to make Mack feel objectified!

Oh, how we love to make Mack feel objectified!

Babushka Petuh mourns.

Babushka Petuh mourns.

I'm hugging Mack and Mack's pretending I'm not there and continues to watch CSI Miami. Typical male.

I’m hugging Mack and Mack’s pretending I’m not there and continues to watch CSI Miami. Typical male.

 

 

This one you have to see in a series. Photo 1: Mack is asking Justin to share his pizza and beer.

This one you have to see in a series. Photo 1: Mack is asking Justin to share his pizza and beer.

Photo 2: Mack, asking me to make Justin share his pizza and beer.

Photo 2: Mack, asking me to make Justin share his pizza and beer.

After 2 failed attempts, Mack resorts to a pouty look at Justin, who then tucks in his jowels.

After 2 failed attempts, Mack resorts to a pouty look at Justin, who then tucks in his jowels.

Photo 4: Hilarity ensues

Photo 4: Hilarity ensues

Photo 5: Close Up.

Photo 5: Close Up.

I caught Mack practicing his Cobra.

I caught Mack practicing his Cobra.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Peter, during his super lame bunny rabbit stage

Peter, during his super lame bunny rabbit stage

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