“We are still here!” Life after Baby

In the 4 months since my last post, a lot has changed.

To recap on my last post, Mack was recovering from his aural hematoma, my husband had just broken his ankle while wrangling Peterbilt (while I was 9 months pregnant) and I was more than ready to get my pregnancy done and over with.

Update: Mack’s ear totally healed. He even turned 14 years old about a month ago and is slowing down, but still in decent condition for a dog his age, as confirmed by our vet. However, he does have widespread arthritis and his joints are weakened somewhat. He has trouble standing up on the hardwood floors, so Mack’s fatass gets carried around quite a bit more by Hubs.

Hub’s ankle is better, but his stubborn-ass refuses to accept that he has physical restrictions and continues do things like carry that fat, aforementioned bulldog around and jump in a bouncy house at my nephew’s birthday part. And God love him for it.

Peterbilt had to undergo a litany of medical and allergy tests and we found out that Peterbilt’s lifelong allergies are caused by cotton. Yes, cotton. As in balls. I knew that son of a bitch would pick the most unavoidable thing to be allergic to. I half expected his test to indicate that he was also allergic to things like air, love and Wednesdays. Peter’s punk ass is now on allergy shots, which is great because that means I now have permission to stab him. Something I’ve wanted to do for years.

The most life changing event obviously was the birth of my daughter, who shall be referred to as Peanut, born in this past February.

She’s beautiful, sweet and happy. Perfectly healthy. Big blue eyes and an easy going disposition. She is a wonderful baby. She’s even sitting in my lap as I type, singing her sweet coos to me and ripping out tiny little fistfuls of my hair. But holy balls is this kid a lot of work.

First off, it took 22 hours of labor and pushing to bring her screaming, pooing and peeing into this world. But those first few weeks at home with a newborn were even more intense.

Trying to juggle a newborn, sleepless nights, breastfeeding, doctor’s appointments, my husband’s graduate school and trips to the emergency vet (Mack took a tumble down the stairs – he’s OK) was more than just a two person job some days. Oh, and we both came home from the hospital with colds. There were literally days and nights when Hubs and I were literally just two ships passing in the night.  Him carrying a Mack Truck to the back door to potty and myself carrying a newborn to the bathtub to clean up an apocalyptic shitstorm. At times, we were both reduced to Hodor status.

But the newborn days are now behind us. Fortunately for us, Peanut loves her sleep, just like her parents, and has been sleeping through the night since 9 weeks old. And she keeps wanting to go to bed earlier and sleep longer, which is awesome for Hubs and I because we get to briefly return to normalcy and do things like, catch up on Game of Thrones episodes. Each day gets better and better.

At 3 months old, she’s getting more fun by the day. Plus, she’s still young enought that Hubs and I can still cuss like sailors around her and listen to old school rap in the Jeep without fear (love you Sirius Radio’s Backspin Channel!). And everything I do is magic to her. The other night, firing up the latest GOT episode with Peanut in my arms, I started to sing along to the theme song to her. She looked up at me in sheer amazement with both hands cupped together, squealing at my half-assed singing. Peanut is becoming quite the Daddy’s girl lately, too. My husband loves every second of it.

And of course, the bulldogs.

Mack, eager to babysit if it means laying there and doing nothing.

Mack, eager to babysit if it means laying there and doing nothing.

You have to feel sorry for her at times. Non consenting slobbery kisses.

You have to feel sorry for her at times. Non consenting slobbery kisses.

Baby Peanut at 7 weeks. Oblivious to Mack's love for her.....and her toys.

Baby Peanut at 7 weeks. Oblivious to Mack’s love for her…..and her toys.

Baby Peanut at 4 weeks. Bulldogs have it locked down like Fort Knox.

Baby Peanut at 4 weeks. Bulldogs have it locked down like Fort Knox.

If the Bulldogs could, they would totally sell her on the black market for just 5 minutes alone with those wonderful, crinkly baby toys. But the bulldogs still love her and are very careful around her. She’s constantly showered with sloppy bulldog kisses and sniff downs. She is very curious about the bulldogs but keeps shit in check. Just tonight, she kicked Peterbilt square in the face after he tried to abscond with one of her plush toys. Proud mama moment. *tear* :“`)

Life is great at House of Farts. I’d like to introduce our newest contributor:


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